Chapter 16

Owner’s Manual Volume II

Transformation

Before you read

Kevin poses these at the start of the chapter, deliberately before his own argument. Answer them first if you can.

1
How could you model the power-responsibility dynamic for your own or other children you know?
2
In what ways do you or could you partner with your child or other children in planning and preparing opportunities to learn, grow, and develop?
3
In what ways could you partner with your own or other children to overcome challenges and/or solve problems?

Kevin’s own distillation, in his words — not a summary written for him.

In helping children learn and develop, the effort, discomfort, risk-taking, and failure are all necessary for growth for the adults and the children.
When helping a child who has experienced regular chaos, trauma, and/or absent or unengaged adults, we must be extremely patient as they test us and strive to protect themselves.
Humility is a powerful tool for children practicing their personal power in a world of adults not accustomed to children with such capabilities.
We need to remove unnecessary guardrails so children develop their own tools for trying new things, taking risks, and being resilient.
Our job is to provide opportunities and nurture our children so they will grow when they’re ready.
We should always strive to present our authentic self to our children, and ideally to everyone else.

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